Friday, March 25, 2005
Chapter 1: Leaving San Diego - The Vegas weekend started out with me getting up at 5:30am to go to work from 6:30-10:00am, just like any other day. Usually, playing games, coloring, and hanging out with elementary school kids goes by really fast, but since my last Vegas trip when I hung out with Bruce Willis, I was really anxious to leave. I got off at 10:00am, and talked to Mike Miller and told him we could drive him up there. He came over at about 11:00 and we stayed at my house waiting for Adam and Erin to come pick us up. After waiting around for a while we decided to start the weekend off right and make some margaritas. After a few sips, Adam and Erin arrived so we were forced to down the rest of them. We left San Diego at about Noon. A couple of hours of driving went by and the margarita just made me tired. Apparently, it made Mike really tired too and we passed out at the same exact time. We awoke to Adam and Erin saying really funny words, and had no idea what they were doing. We learned that they were taking turns naming Pokemon characters. They were really good at it because they went on with that for what seemed like hours. Also, during the long drive, Mike and I became addicted to Gummy Bears. Does anyone ever notice that when you are eating gummy bears, the bag never seems to end, and the bears just keep coming and coming? Well, the bag did end, and Mike and I began to get the shakes and crave more and more gummy bears. We’d take the bears and bite the head off of one, and then bite the body off of another color, and create our own world of interracial Gummy Bears. Anything to pass the time, I guess. The rest of the drive consisted of playing movie games and listening to music. We got to Las Vegas at around 4:30.
Chapter 2: Jester’s Lounge and the Trek to Chevron - When we walked into the Excalibur, Mike and I waited at the Jester’s Lounge while Adam and Erin got the room, considering there was only supposed to be two people staying there. We played some video poker and started the whole weekend off with a shot of Jager and a beer, I had a Guinness and Mike drank a Foster’s. Mike had to wait for some friends so we went up to the room to hang out for a little bit. Fifteen minutes in the room got us a little bored, so we left to look for a convenience store to buy some beer and cigarettes. We’re starving college-age kids, so we wanted to have the cheapest possible weekend without spending too much on liquor at the bars. We left the hotel at about 5:30 and started walking toward the strip to look for a store. As we were walking across a bridge that goes over Las Vegas Blvd. we noticed there was a car completely flipped over on the onramp to the I-15 South. After gazing in amazement at the destruction, we asked a cop where we could buy some 12-packs, he replied with, “12-Packs of what?” When we told him we just wanted beer, he pointed out the Chevron station a couple of blocks down the street. At the Chevron, we got a 12-pack of Miller High Life, and an 18-pack of Coors light with. We purchased cheap beer because we were going to play a game of You’ll Be Sorry (Mine and Adam’s drunken Sorry game). Since we both smoke, we realized we would be spending a lot of money on cigarettes so we bought a carton, which was my first. The beer, cigarettes, and cups for the game only cost us $50. We left the Chevron and made our trek back to the hotel. On the way back, we talked to Melissa and Michelle who said they just arrived at the hotel and they were going to get ready and give us a call.
Chapter 3: Evangeline - When we got back to the hotel, we went into our room, but were forced to leave because of an undisclosed reason (this undisclosed reason shall remain between us, and is the only censored event that will not be discussed). Let’s just say that we had to call “Time Out!” whenever we walked into the room, and we ended up doing it even if we were all together. Mike and I grabbed a beer or three and went to look for a place to smoke. As we walked down the hall, we noticed a sitting area that had two chairs and an ash tray. Since we thought this must be a gift from God, we called the place “Evangeline”. Evangeline became mine and Mike’s official smoking spot for the rest of the trip.
Chapter 4: You’ll Be Sorry – We got back to the room and started playing You’ll Be Sorry. For those of you who have never played, it is the same rules as the board game, Sorry, except for a few minor changes, and then some drinking rules. Basically you drink a lot and fill up a cup in the middle. The winner gets to pick who drinks the cup. We made some really good rules, and by the end of the game we were all taking the little guy off of our cups, drinking, slapping the table, saying “Hot Diggity Damn!”, and only speaking in Scottish accents. Everyone is usually feeling really good after a game of You’ll Be Sorry. When we were done, we changed and went downstairs to meet up with some Santa Barbara people in a room that was four floors below us. Outside of their room I met some very nice girls, Nancy and Lindsay. I don’t know how they met any of the people we were with, but they really liked my Mohawk so I talked to them for a while, then went into the room to hang out for about 10 minutes and then everyone met up at the Jester’s Lounge again and were feeling very good. Everyone caught up, met for the first time, and just chatted for a while and we went to New York New York to start the night out on the town.
Chapter 5: New York, NY and the Arrival of Paul and Thad – New York New York is connected to Excalibur by a bridge that goes over the street, so we had a group of about twenty people who walked all the way over there. As we walked through the Casino, I realized I had not been gambling nearly as much as I should, and since I was in a hurry, I stopped at a Slot Machine and won $10.00. (Winnings Count: $10.00). All of us got to a piano bar, waited for a while outside. By this time I was with Melissa, Mike, and all the SB people. Melissa and I got into the bar, (I still had a beer in my hand from about a half hour before). Inside the bar, I saw Lindsay and Nancy again, and got Lindsay’s number so we could meet up later. The bar was fun as hell. The guys playing piano did some very good Eagles and Billy Joel cover songs. I think they even did a Beastie Boys cover, which was kind of weird. I don’t really remember that much. If anyone can remember the songs they played, let me know and I’ll add them to this list:
- Eagles – Hotel California
- Elton John – Tiny Dancer
- ??
Mike and I were standing by the door and we decided to leave, as I was leaving, Thad called me and told me they were almost there. I decided to just talk to him and walk back to the Excalibur to meet up with them. When I walked through New York New York, I saw Lindsay and talked with them for a while. Then I made my drunken trip back to the entrance to the hotel from the parking lot, where I could meet up with Paul. I still have no idea how I found my way back to that place. I saw Paul and Thad walking to the hotel, so I went out to help them carry their stuff up to the room. They brought beer so they could start catching up with us. I took them up to the room, they put there stuff down and started catching up. I think I had a couple more beers myself. Paul, Thad and I went downstairs to the Jester’s Lounge again, because everyone was already really trashed and drinking in the hotel. So we went to the Lounge and hung out with Melissa, Mike, Michelle, Andy, and some other people who I can’t really remember because of alcohol. Lindsay called me and so we met up with them by a slot machine, talked for a while. Then we walked around to look for an ATM so I could start playing some more slot machines. I got $40 out of the ATM and played a slot machine with Lindsay for a while. (Winnings Count: $-10). After the slot machine, we went to the Jester’s Lounge for some drinks, and then we played video poker and drank for a couple more hours. I remember putting about $30 in the video poker machine, and I ended up with a $78 voucher from a four of a kind. Since my parents taught me well, I cashed out and I was done for a while. (Approx. Winnings Count: $38). I think it was at about that time (about 5:00am) that we decided to pass out.
Saturday, March 26, 2005
Chapter 6: Four Girls and a Black Guy - I guess I went up to her room to pass out, because I woke up the next morning at about 8:30am in the same room with her and three of her friends and also with a small black eye and a cut on my eyebrow. The girls noticed it and I have NO IDEA how it happened. Every time I told someone about that, they asked, “You woke up with four girls and a black guy?!?!” I’m pretty sure nothing happened because my clothes were still on when I woke up. I introduced myself to her three friends as the “Random Guy Who Woke up in Her Room”. The girls were all really cool, so I went downstairs with her and her friends to get Bloody Mary’s. I thought I lost my sunglasses, because for some drunk reason I decided to take them out with me at 10:00pm the night before. I went to the bar that we were at and to security but they were nowhere to be found. I didn’t want to buy any, because I was on limited funds. So I played another slot machine. I put a $20 in, and right away hit 7 7 7 and got a voucher for $108. (Winnings Count: $126). With this extra money, I could buy some new sunglasses. I wondered around for a while and met back up with the girls and had a couple of Bloody Mary’s. The girls had the brilliant idea to go to a champagne brunch at the MGM Grand. As we walked through the hotel, I met up with Mike, who was the only other one in our whole group of 40 or so awake at 9:00am. Mike, having the amazing memory, told me that I probably left the sunglasses up in the room, which they were. Mike and I went up to the room so I could change a shirt and put some deodorant on. We got Paul and Thad up and they decided to come with us. We went downstairs to the girls and we all walked to the MGM Grand.
Chapter 7: Champagne Wishes and Drunken Bobber Nobbers… - For $25, you can have an all you can eat breakfast buffet and all you can drink champagne. There were about 12 of us at the place. We got split up from the girls we met the night before, so at our table it was Me, Mike, Thad, and Paul. Melissa got mad at us for not inviting her, even though we tried calling her a bunch of times, so then she made her way over and met us there. Melissa is the type of girl that is always down for adventures and drinking, which makes her one of the most fun people to hang out with ever. Before we arrived to Vegas we bought tickets for a Goldfinger, Rise Against and Unwritten Law show, but had no idea how we were getting there because it said that the venue was 18 miles away from the strip, and that is kind of an expensive cab ride. So we weren’t sure if we were even going. Anyways, we spend about four hours at the MGM drinking champagne and had a couple of bottles each. Mike and I went out into the casino a couple of times to smoke and play slots. We even lost $20 on Roulette. I bet $20 on Black, and he bet $20 on Even, so of course we get an Odd/Red. (Approx. Winnings Count: $86). Because the MGM decided to rip us off, as I walked back to the buffet, I felt that they owed me, so I found it necessary to snag an ash tray from the casino, which I completely forgot about until I unpacked a few hours ago. We also met four really cool guys from San Diego at the MGM, so we moved our table over to there’s and drank and hung out with them for a while. They even said that they wanted to go to the show with us, and they had a car, so Mel and I were set. Now it was about 3:30pm, so we split up and decided to meet up in an hour or so. Goldfinger was going on stage at about 5 or 6, and I really did not want to miss them. Paul was REALLY intoxicated, as we stumbled back to the hotel. Mel went back to her room to get ready to sit by the pool for a while, and Paul, Thad and I went back to our room where Adam and Erin were hanging out. Paul laid down on the bed and started babbling about something. We really couldn’t understand much of what he said. He napped for about 20 minutes when we woke him up and starting making him say stuff. He babbled something about “hiehsid some random chick jhdsdis suck me off….” Or something like that. Adam asked him something about what he just said, and all he replied with was “Bobber Nobber!”. We now had a catch phrase for the trip. Leave it to Paul to create these for us. Since we had an hour or so before we left for the show, we went down to the pool to meet with Michelle and some of her SB friends. I think we were the only drunk one’s in that whole group, which is perfectly fine with us. I was sitting on a lounge chair talking and Thad was sitting at the end, then he decided to stand up, and he was the only weight that was keeping me on the chair. I fell back and got a gash in my shoulder, but it was actually really funny. While we were at the pool, the San Diego guys we met earlier called and said they weren’t going anymore, but they would meet up with us later. Mel and I were shit-out-of-luck, but we got over it and went upstairs to shower and get ready to go out. While I was in the shower, my ex-girlfriend’s cousin Craig, who lives in Vegas, called me back and said that him and his girlfriend, Nadia, wanted to go to the show, and they would come pick us up in 45 minutes or so.
Chapter 8: Crazy Poway Kids - By now it was well after 5:00pm, so we ran the risk of missing Goldfinger, which was ok because we still had Rise Against and Goldfinger. We got ready and then went downstairs to meet them. Mel and I got picked up by Craig and Nadia and drove to the venue the concert was at. We walked around for a while, watched Rise Against; I bought a Rise Against shirt and a UL shirt, and some Goldfinger stickers to put on my car and Trapper Keeper. Mel and I got something to eat, and Craig and Nadia went to go pick a friend up. We went by the stage and then Unwritten Law came on. During the show, Mel and I got split up, but I ended up in the pit, then got closer to the front. Up front I saw a guy that looked very familiar. I tapped him on the shoulder and asked him his name, when he told me, it struck me that we had went to middle school and high school with him, it was Matt Higginson. Having another Poway kid there made the show that much better. Unwritten Law played for a little over an hour, we even got there attention and told them we were from Poway, so they played CPK for us, which made the whole show. I’m not the biggest fan of their new stuff, but it sounded pretty damn good live. After the show, we told Matt that we would meet up with him later, and then we went back to the hotel with Craig and Nadia, who said that they would come with us to a club later. Even though we missed Goldfinger, the show was AWESOME and well worth still going. The only downer was they didn’t sell alcohol there, so we were pretty sober after the show.
Chapter 9: What Would Jack Bauer Do? – Mel and I went back to our rooms to shower, and after that I went to her room to get caught back up. I sat in her room and helped her drink her Skyy. When the guys got back from Margaritaville, we went back to my room to see what the night had in store for us. Apparently Paul got drunk again. When we were in the room, I must have been antagonizing him a little bit. We were going to go to Hard Rock Hotel, so we left the room. When Adam asked Paul, “What would Jack Bauer do?” I guess Paul felt that Jack Bauer would chase me down the hall to try and tackle me. But luckily I got away, spilling some of my Skyy and Monster. Mel and Paul were in the elevator and we were standing at our floor waiting for Adam and Erin. Paul asked out loud, “What would Jack Bauer do? Jack Bauer would do this!” and then he slapped my drink out of my hand, in turn spilling it on my London shirt and all over my pants. Personally, I don’t think Jack Bauer would do something like that. The cup got stuck in the elevator door after that and as Mel and Paul rode downstairs the cup hit each and every floor on the way down. I went back to the room to change, because I just didn’t think that going out looking like I peed myself was a very good idea. When we went downstairs, Adam and Erin decided not to come out, so they went back to the room, and then we hailed a cab.
Chapter 10: Cabbie on Speed – The cab driver we had would not stop talking. He would not shut up about the fires in the MGM in ’86, and telling us about how the mob runs this town, about how dangerous the city is, etc. Personally, I was ready to get out of the cab, because he was starting to scare me. When we got to the Hard Rock parking lot, another cab backed into us. Apparently this happens all the time because the cabbie just said something mean about the guy, got out, but came right back and took us to the front and dropped us off. It was kind of freaky. At the Hard Rock we went to the bar and then got a beer. Then we walked around a little bit, looking for a club. The lines were a little long for us to wait in at midnight, so I sat at another slot machine and lost $20. (Winnings Count: $66). Since we were a little afraid of cabs, we left and started walking back to the strip. I brought the free drink I got for playing slots. I don’t think any of us had any idea where we were, but we started walking. When I was done with my drink, I felt it necessary to toss the drink down into the drainage ditch. The cup, which was made of glass and magic, hit the ground, bounced back up about six feet, and then shattered when it hit the ground a second time. As we walked, someone had the idea to stop by a strip club.
Chapter 11: The Future Mrs. Taylor – I really wasn’t paying attention to everyone else (Paul, Thad and Mel), but they said something about a strip club, so I said, “Sure, lets go to one!” And just like a mirage, one appeared right before my very eyes. We went in and sat down. Now, if you’ve seen one strip club, you’ve seen them all. Not many had no cover charge like this one. It was pretty small, but we sat down and started getting some drinks. After a few dancers, this one appeared up on stage. She was AMAZING. Her dance was fantastic as well. When she was done, I noticed Thad talking to her, then she came over and took Paul away and gave him a dance. When Paul came back, we kept seeing her, and it seemed like we made a new friend. When you go to a strip club with another girl, its always fun, but Mel was making friends with pretty much all of the strippers, which was cool, because that means they came over to us to joke around with Mel. We must have been there a long time, because the dancers started going up a second time since we arrived. Then, the one that I was talking about earlier got up on stage. We all went up to the front, because we liked her a lot. She even gave Mel a dollar to go up to the stage to put into a strippers thong. Anyways, while this girl was getting my dollar, I asked her for a dance. When she finished her dance up on stage, she came back over to me to bring me to the lap dance area. This was, by far, the best dance I have ever received. It was amazing. When she was done, we sat and talked for what seemed like hours. We talked about tattoos, her kid, the kids I work with. Before long, she said that the bouncer was saying that everyone had to leave, because they were closing, so I figured it was about 4:00am or so. She gave me some contact information, and called me a hottie ;). Then we walked out of the club and the daylight shined bright into our eyes.
Chapter 12: One Last Drink – We started walking back to the hotel, but then hailed a cab for the remainder of the trip. We got back to the Excalibur where some of the people we were with were at the Jester’s Lounge yet again. We all sat and ordered bloody mary’s. After about 15 minutes, it was time for us to pass out. So we went back up to the room, passed out, and woke up about 15 minutes before check out time. We called the front desk and asked for an extended check out time, slept for a little longer, got up, packed, I showered, then we went downstairs said goodbye to Michelle and some other people. Mike and I went back upstairs, we got our stuff and then Paul, Thad, Mike and I started to make the journey home.
